All right, that’s it. I’m done – spent. Out of time. I have smacked down as many votes as humanly possible. Here we are on the eve of the election, there just isn’t a whole lot left for me to do. An unprecedented number of Smackdowns of votes have been reported across the country, with no injuries, and in my last column I made the bold prediction that we will reach our goal of 2 million more 18-30 year-olds going to the polls tomorrow than did four years ago.
But what now? I’m forced to sit here at home counting the minutes until my polling place opens, with my only way of reaching the world being through this column. So instead of sitting online and watching poll after poll come in telling me that the plus-minus sign (+/-, a.k.a. margin of error) was not a waste of time to learn in statistics class, this morning I began to pack my voter preparation kit for tomorrow.
I pulled out my backpack and started stuffing it with all the essentials - map, location of polling place, directions, 23 forms of ID – including passport, driver’s license, electric bill, gas bill, paychecks, Costco membership card, and Subway Sandwich Club card with 8 of 10 stamps. I printed out the responses to the National 18-30 Voter Issues Paper from www.smackdownyourvote.com to read on the way, so I’d be fresh on which candidates support what issues and know if I want them to lead the next round of legislation in this country, or if I want them, for instance, to go back to producing the smooth, refreshing beer I need at Harvard football tailgates.
For the candidates that didn’t get the memo on the VIP, or were too busy raising funds from their corporate masters to answer to their constituency (wow, channeling Nader there), I went to my good friends at the League of Women Voters where the ladies have assembled a vast issue database at www.dnet.org. When you go to the polls, it’s important to know not just who you’re going to vote for in the presidential race, but also possibly your Senators, definitely your Representative, and a host of state and local legislators.
Along with this information, I’ve also packed the standards in my voter prep kit – a flashlight, matches, a #2 pencil, protein bars, high quality H20, an umbrella, my cell phone, duct tape, and plastic sheeting. This way I’m prepared for power outages, rain, long lines, the SAT’s, and anything the Department of Homeland Security can throw at me, because you can never be too prepared.
The cell phone may be the most important item, because if for some reason somebody tries to disenfranchise me when I get there, I’m going to do three things. First, after I count slowly to ten to prevent me from freaking out on someone, I’ll demand a provisional ballot. Everyone that goes to the polls has the right to fill out a ballot. If for some reason you registered, but someone messed up somewhere and you were not on the list the poll workers have in front of them, you can fill out the provisional ballot and it is the responsibility of the government to do the due diligence to determine if you are an eligible voter. If you know you’ve registered, you are 18, and you didn’t commit any felonies on the way to the polls, you should be good to go (fingers crossed in Florida).
If you still get a hard time, and are worried some shifty eyed partisan behind the table is still trying to disenfranchise you because your face doesn’t show the wrinkles of time, or because you have green hair and are wearing a Hurricane t-shirt, you can whip out that cell phone and call 1-866-Our-Vote, where the Election Protection Commission will keep track of reported problems and offer advice on what to do. If necessary, I have been supplied with a red telephone and a helicopter, and Mark Henry, the Big Show, and I can show up to lay the Smackdown on people in the name of representative democracy.
But enough practical advice, the real question is what is the last pitch I can make to make sure all of you put it all together and actually vote? We’ve made a genuine appeal this fall and youth voter interest and activity is up, so we know that system works. So I could tell you again that no matter who you vote for, if we increase youth voter turnout, we will have a greater voice in politics, or that many people have died to give you the right to vote, but those messages have already done what they are going to do (which has been a lot).
So instead, I’m going to make a personal appeal. Last week, to my enormous surprise, I was given an award for my Smackdown Your Vote! efforts. The Youth Vote Coalition selected me as one of their “30 Under 30”, an award recognizing thirty people under the age of thirty that have made an outstanding impact in politics or mobilizing their peers to vote. First and foremost, I’d like to thank them for the honor. Second, I would like to state that I am only accepting the award on behalf of the entire Smackdown Your Vote! organization - Superstars, staff, and supporters - because it’s a team effort.
But the appeal I want to make is this: They gave me a trophy with an American flag on it. It’s my first trophy since high school, and I really want to prominently display it in my house. But I’ve decided that if we don’t reach our goal of having 20 million 18-30 year old voters tomorrow, the trophy goes in a box, because I will consider my efforts and myself a failure (although the program is still an undeniable success). I really want to display that trophy, so I appeal to you, the young voter, to put that trophy on my mantel, and get to the polls Tuesday.
And if that doesn’t motivate you, do it for the symbolism of the American flag on top of the trophy. Whatever “Old Glory” represents to you.
It’s your choice. You vote, you win.
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