Real Genius

What Does Chris Nowinski Really Want From Triple H?
A Special Report by The Informer

When you're as smart as Chris Nowinski, you're usually one step ahead of the game.

But is he really one step ahead of "The Game"?

It's no secret that Nowinski despises just about everyone in the WWE locker room. He has little respect for their athletic ability and even less for their intellectual capacity. And the one Superstar who evokes the strongest reaction from Nowinski is Triple H. Referring to Triple H as the "Cerebral Assassin" or "the smartest man in sports-entertainment" sets Nowinski off on a tirade.

"Look, I'm a genius," an angry Nowinski said. "Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking are geniuses. As a matter of fact, I just had several discussions with Hawking about his recent book, The Universe in a Nutshell. I pointed out a few mistakes he made, and he's going to correct them in a forthcoming edition. But back to Triple H…he probably can't even spell "cerebral." Does he know that the word cerebral is derived from the Latin, cerebrum, which means "brain"? I don't think so. Triple H is no genius. I'm the only Harvard graduate in WWE, and I'm the only one smart enough to be called a genius!

"Do you think it's easy for a man of my intellect to hand out with such an imbecilic group?" a raging Nowinski continued. "I like to discuss philosophy, physics and macroeconomic theory. Do you think that I am able to do that with the morons in the locker room? Please. Most of them aren't even qualifies to sweep the floors at Harvard. And in case you've forgotten, I graduated from there."

Nowinski's academic accomplishments are well documented. But what many fans don't know is that after graduating summa cum laude from Harvard University and before auditioning for Tough Enough, Nowinski took an executive position with one of Wall Street's most prestigious brokerage houses. Within a matter of months, he had earned more than $5 million. Although two of his co-workers are currently under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission for defrauding the public and insider trading, Nowinski has not been contacted by the authorities, nor does he ever expect to be.

"I did nothing wrong," he claims. "It's not my fault that I made a lot of money because the masses are so stupid. There's nothing illegal about being a genius. Don't hate me just because I'm smarter than you. Besides, even if I did do something wrong, Harvard men don't get arrested or thrown in jail. We make the law, we're not servants to it."

With enough money to live lavishly for the rest of his life, Nowinski set out to conquer the sports-entertainment world. He auditioned for Tough Enough and, as he expected, was chosen to compete for a spot on the WWE roster. Naturally, Nowinski thought that he would win the competition. When he didn't, he was a bit disappointed, but by no means was he defeated. He had a backup plan ready just in case he wasn't selected.

"In case you've forgotten, I graduated from Harvard," he explained. "I know that everybody who didn't go there is envious of me, and I know there would be some jealous types in WWE who might conspire to keep me out. Now I'm going to throw a six-syllable word out there for all you readers. I know most of you can't even comprehend two-syllable words, much less a six-syllable one, but here goes: Diversification. See, I diversified my options and had a backup plan ready. Since most WWE fans can barely think of one idea, I don't expect them to relate. But just in case, I had an alternate plan. Once I wasn't chosen, I put it into action, and here I am."

Whatever nefarious scheme Nowinski concocted to secure a place on WWE's roster worked, and he's where he always wanted to be. The real question is not how he got there, but what exactly is he up to?

It's a well-known fact that from the first day he set foot in a WWE ring, he believed that, as a Harvard graduate, he automatically deserved a shot at the WWE Undisputed Championship. When that didn't happen, he became incensed and demanded a meeting with WWE owner Vince McMahon. Apparently they came to an agreement, but just as it was about to be put in effect, McMahon turned Raw over to Eric Bischoff.

Just as suddenly, Triple H left SmackDown! And headed to Raw. At first glance, it appeared that Triple H's defection had nothing to do with Nowinski, but several questions linger. Could his hate for Triple H be part of an elaborate ruse? Was it mere coincidence that the first person that Bischoff took from the SmackDown! roster was "The Game"? Rumors are circulating that Nowinski used a fair portion of his ill-gotten Wall Street funds to help seal the Triple H deal. If this is so, why exactly did Nowinski want Triple H on Raw? Was it to try and beat "The Game's" brains in? Or, does he actually respect Triple H's mental prowess and want him on his side?

Once Triple H came to Raw, he started acting differently. He turned on his longtime friend Shawn Michaels and no longer sided with those who played by the rules. Did Nowinski have anything to do with this? And, if so, why? Furthermore, how does Bischoff come into play in all of this?

An important clue may also rest with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Both jumped ship shortly after "The Game" arrive on Raw. Considering Heyman's greed, could he have accepted money from Nowinski? And if so, why would Nowinski and/or Triple H want them on the SmackDown! roster? Or, could it have been to set up a "real" championship match down the road somewhere?

Surely, Nowinski is up to something, and Triple H seems the pivotal figure. His plan appears to be extremely complex and there's no telling how it will unfold. And Nowinski isn't about to tip his hand at this point in time.

"Suppose I did have a plan, and suppose I was even willing to explain it to the WWE faithful. They wouldn't understand it. It's far beyond their comprehension. They are simple people, and I am a brilliant man. Remember, it is I who went to Harvard, not them."

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